Copywriting Maven’s Landing Page Makeover Clinic #7: Mindmap-Ebook.com

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Today’s makeover is for Chuck Frey’s ebook, Mind-Mapping Software: How to Choose the Perfect Program for Your Needs. Chuck lives and breathes this stuff. He’s the Mind-Mapping “Man” but he’s been struggling getting a handle on his target market. (In fact, this is the second ebook effort I’ve reviewed. The first, I thought, needed an entire marketing plan “re-think”, hence the swift side-step to a project that lent itself to this format far superior.

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Chuck actually has some pretty good marketing language throughout this page. Unfortunately, it’s buried under ho-hum heads and subheads. You’ll see what I mean when you take a look at the current page.

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Here’s the background:

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• The Goal
  \nIncrease ebook sales from few to many duplicates per month.

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• The Problem
  \nAds are generating traffic but not closing near enough sales.

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• The Current Landing Page
  \nhttp://www.mindmap-ebook.com/selecting/index.asp

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• Page/Ad that Generates the Click-Through
  \nhttp://mindmapping.typepad.com and Google Adwords

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• Ebook cost
  \n$19.95/$39.95

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The Maven’s 10-Point Critique

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Click image for more massive view

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#1 – The current headline is feature-oriented and a restatement of your book’s subtitle. What you want here is to present your book’s “big idea”, the one that speaks to the heart of your visitor’s purchasing anxiety … and fast.

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We’ll assume for the moment that your market has a little tiny bit of knowledge about mind-mapping. Something about brainstorming new ideas, boosting creativity, etc. Your book, however, isn’t about mind-mapping per se. It’s about helping those who are considering a mind-mapping software (rather than going it alone with a pencil and yellow pad) to make a smart purchasing decision. So what’s the huge idea? You’ve actually buried it in body copy below — Not all mind mapping programs are created equal. That’s your starting point.

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#2 – In line with Point #1, add a strong supporting subhead that speaks to relieving the purchasing anxiety.

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And what is the anxiety? Making a mistake, buying the wrong mind-mapping program, wasting their time and money. You’re the MM expert. Start showing it in this space, offering to walk your visitor through the evaluation process in a way that’s simple, comfortable and affordable.

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#3 – Add a prehead or “kicker” to set-up the headline and the landing page’s marketing premise and promise.

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I like to capture the current environment of the visitor with this component. “I know what I want, but there are too many choices. How do I make sense of this?”

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Click image for bigger view

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#4 – Use a letter format, “Dear Creativity-Boosting Seeker” or some such, to acknowledge where your visitor is in the deciding-to-purchase process.

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The salutation doesn’t have to be wildly creative or pleasing. But I always like to acknowledge where the visitor’s head is at — that he/she already knows and wants the benefits promised by mind-mapping. They just want expert guidance as to how to purchase the most appropriate program. A letter format also warms up the look of your page and makes it friendlier in its presentation and implied intention. Add your pic near the saluation and don’t forget to sign your letter, too.

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#5 – Open your body copy with a restatement of the problem. Share the pain, frustration – and don’t forget the first call to action.

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“Maybe it’s me, but … if mind-mapping software is supposed to be about developing clarity of thought and purpose … encourage creativity to flow in less time … then why is it so darned (or other descriptor, even a well-placed #$#%^$%^# would work here) hard to figure out which one to purchase. Shouldn’t this process be a whole lot easier? I think so, that’s why I wrote the book, etc. (But not too much “I” orientation. The focus has to be on your prospect’s self-interest and answer the question – Why your book and why now?

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#6 – Use an illustration of Mind-Map “Madness” as a way to underscore the confusion your visitor is feeling. Use another to show a second mind-map after someone has made the smart choice after reading your book.

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This would be a marvelous way to offer a visual reinforcement of your message. Show them the before: “Too Many Programs” AND after: “Happy Clarity” and visitors will immediately get your message.

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Click image for more massive view

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#7 – Add several more subheads, each devoted to a strong, relevant benefit to be received by reading your ebook.

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What you’re using now is lackluster and anemic. Your subheads are mini-headlines that announce with some sort of benefit and keep the reader moving along from one paragraph to the next.

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#8 – Strengthen your ebook description with specifics and excitement – what exactly will your prospect learn by reading your book?

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Quantify tips … name names … use exact numbers … be as specific as you can about what there is to be learned reading your book. And aren’t mind maps photos? Show me some photos, too.

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#9 – Don’t send the visitor away to see your bio. You’re the expert, tout yourself on your landing page in the first few paragraphs.

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Offer your experience and credentials as part of your sales copy and do it upfront rather than as an afterthought. Why should a visitor trust your knowledge? Show ‘em, tell ‘em, and prove it. You do some of this now but I’d like to see you take it to the next level. Eliminate the hyperlinks which direct your visitors away from your sales page and incorporate those salient credibility points in the copy itself.

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#10 – Position your strongest testimonial above the fold. Sprinkle the rest throughout the copy.

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Testimonials are used best when they’re specific to the body copy talking about that very same thing. Go back to the folks who actually bought your book. Ask them what they thought, how they benefited. Large names are good, but actual user experience is so much superior. Use both for maximum effect.

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BONUS POINTS:

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• Confusion 1: In the order area, the copy speaks to Deluxe Version, yet at first glance I don’t see a standard version mentioned.

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• Confusion 2: If the Deluxe Version really means the main book plus additional reports, then say so. But don’t call them Bonus Reports because bonus in sales almost always means free, not extra.
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  \nNothing wil

  l kill conversion faster than a confused, convoluted message and offer. I’d suggest Standard Version and Expanded Version as possible names.

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• Confusion 3: I’m buying from you, not from Clickbank. I don’t care what Clickbank’s guarantee is, only yours.
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  \nI realize you distribute through them but you’ll still want to rework the copy to talk about YOUR personal guarantee. Also,too, have the guarantee copy ON your landing page adjacent to your seal. No click-aways.

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My thanks to Chuck Frey for his patience and support of Heifer International.

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Here’s your chance to be the Copywriting Maven’s next landing page makeover!

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Got a landing page that’s more poop than pop? Willing to share with Copyblogger readers? Prepared to put a little of your own “skin in the game” for a Maven Makeover? Then follow your click to Maven’s Landing Page Makeover page for all the details. (Please note that I’m booked for new gratis critiques until 12/1. If you’re interested in a private critique/makeover, please email me directly.)

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Roberta Rosenberg is The Copywriting Maven at MGP Direct, Inc.

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